The Inner Me
by Saikoro
Summary: (Complete)What happens when memories you thought you had forgotten begin to seep out? Suicide attempt and yuri.
1. Seeping pain

The Inner Me  
  
By Saikoro  
  
An alarm goes off in the bedroom of Matilda Mattise, AKA Machi. The red-head almost falls out of her bed due to the blaring noise her clock makes. She clambers out of bed and walks over to the alarm clock, which was sitting on her dresser.....on the opposite side of the room. "Stupid alarming thingy...." she mumbles as she slams her fist down on the device, silencing it's sound. It is then that she realizes the actual time. "11:00?! I had this thing set for 8:00!!"  
  
Quickly getting dressed, she walks into the living room of the apartment shared with her two comrades, Kanna Bismarch, and Marrion Phauna. The trio formerly known as the dreaded Hangumi had rented the apartment several months ago, when the Shaman Fight had ended. Today, however, she had found it strangely empty. "You guys here?" she called out, with no answer. Walking into the small kitchen, she noticed a note stuck to the fridge. She pulled it off and read it out loud. "Dear Machi, Mari and I went shopping. We were going to bring you, but you were sleeping peacefully. I changed the time on your alarm so you could sleep in. Be back soon, Kanna". The red-haired shaman sat at the table with a sigh. "They ditched me..."she said aloud. "Why do people always ditch me?"  
  
It was times like these that the girl's usual, care-free self crumbled away, revealing her sad, lonesome, inner soul. A tear rolled down her cheek as she recalled an unpleasant memory from her childhood....  
  
*Begin flashback*  
  
It was a beautiful autumn day as a five year old Machi began her first day at elementry school. After bidding farewell to her parents she entered her assigned class room and sat down. She looked around in awe; everyone seemed very friendly. She felt right at home here. The first class went by quickly, after learning a good portion of the alphabet, it was time for recess. As Machi stepped outside, she noticed all the other kids doing their own thing. She saw a group of girls playing with dolls under a big tree, so she walked over. "Hiya! Can I play too?" she asked. "Sure!" a dark-haired girl replied. She handed Machi a pretty doll, and they began to play. However, Machi was confused. "Why are you using your hands?". "What do you mean?" The dark-haired girl answered. Machi was dumbfounded. "Well..." she said, looking around to make sure no one else was watching. "....I play this way!" She closed her eyes for a moment, then her doll suddenly got up and walked around! The other girls screamed and ran off, leaving the young shaman alone under the tree. "What's wrong?" she asked.....  
  
*End flashback*  
  
Machi sobbed to herself at the table. She hated remembering such things......  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
So......how is it so far? It's my first fanfic, so it probably sucks royally. ^__^;;;  
  
I hate that there's not many Hangumi fics around, and I was depressed, so I just started writing.  
  
Please R&R. It'll make me happy. ^__^ 


	2. The Breaking point

A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys. It means alot. ^_^ Oh, and sorry for the slow updating......  
  
The Inner Me  
  
Chapter 2  
  
The time was now 2:35 PM. Matilda lay sprawled out on her bed, half asleep. She   
  
glanced over at Jack. The doll was sitting in the corner of the room, it's "eyes" staring   
  
blankly at the floor. She got up and stared at it. "Hmm...so easily I could just..." the doll  
  
started to glow and get's up, pulling out one of it's knives. It moves to her will, bringing   
  
up one of the knives and pushing it against her neck. It applies more presure to the blade,  
  
causing a trickle of blood to drip out. Just then, the shaman hears the front door open,   
  
snapping her out of the trance. Jacks drops to the floor, lifeless once again.  
  
Matilda walks into the living room, only   
  
to be greeted by Kanna and Mari. Kanna raised her hand in greeting. "Yo. We got groceries...."  
  
Marion eagerly spoke up. "Mari bought shoes!!" "Are they black shoes?" Machi asked.  
  
"Aww...how'd you guess?" Mari replied, pouting. Kanna was putting away the groceries.   
  
"Did you sleep ok, Machi?" she asked. "Yeah..." the red head replied faintly. The blue   
  
haired woman finished and returned to the living room. "Yeah, sorry about messing with  
  
your alarm, but-" she paused, causing the others to look up at her. "Machi...what   
  
happened to your neck?" Machi instantly placed a hand to her neck. She had forgotten  
  
all about that! "Err...my neck? Oh! This! I...err...fell out of bed...uhh...and landed on Jack!"  
  
she exclaimed. Kanna gave her a suspicious look. "Ah....well...be sure to patch it up, ok?"  
  
Umm...right!" Matilda replied, as she headed to the washroom down the hall. As soon as   
  
she was gone, Kanna whispered to Mari. "Do you think she's ok? She doesn't seem like  
  
herself." Mari looked up from admiring her new shoes. "Mari doesn't know. Why don't you  
  
ask her?" The older shaman thought for a moment, before lighting up a new cigarette.  
  
"Hmm...maybe I should....."  
  
Machi stood staring at herself in the bathroom mirror. "I'm  
  
so pale looking." she thought, wiping the blood from the side of her neck. She ran her fingers  
  
over the cut. "I'm not like that....I don't want to die.....do I?" She bandaged the wound and   
  
looks at the mirror one more time. She begins to remember again.....  
  
*Begin Flashback*  
  
The year was 1995. Matilda was doing as well in school as a 9  
  
year old could. Her "incidents" still ocurred, though not very often. Whenever they did, they   
  
were disregarded, thought to be mere figments of the student's imaginations. It was Spring,  
  
and Machi was on her way to school wearing a new blue coat. She loved the Spring time  
  
because everything looked and smelled nice. She finally got to school, having picked some   
  
flowers. She entered her classroom, stuffing the flowers in her coat pocket and then hanging  
  
it up. It was math....her most hated subject, for she wasn't as good at it as her other classes.  
  
The class went on uneventfully, until  
  
the teacher was called down to the office. "I'll be right back." the teacher said, before departing.  
  
As soon as she left, Machi found herself bombared with a hail of paper balls. This happened   
  
usually everyday, and the girl had built an immunity of sorts to it. "Haha, freak!" one girl   
  
shouted, throwing another paper ball at the red head. "Go home you monster!" another said,  
  
doing the same as the others. Machi sat silently, taking in the abuse. A boy walked over to   
  
the coat racks, grasping a familiar blue material. "Hey look, it's the freak's coat!" the boy   
  
yelled out. He then preceded to write all over it in crayon, causing the flowers to fall out.   
  
"What's this? Ha! Monsters can't have flowers!" he said, stomping all over them. That was  
  
it. She had had enough. She glared at the boy, her coat starting to glow. It wraps around  
  
his head, and he stumbles around in a panic. "W-what's going on!?" he yells out. The girl  
  
just smiles as the boy runs into the wall, breaking his arm. Of course, no one other than  
  
the students of that class believed a word of it.....  
  
*End Flashback*   
  
Mari and Kanna were watching TV when they heard a loud smash from the  
  
bathroom......  
  
A/N: So, am I getting better at this? I fixed my writing structure.....I think. @__@  
  
Anywho, I left an evil cliffhanger, muhahahaha!!! 


	3. Unexpected Comfort

A/N: Thanks you for the reviews!! I love reviews. Again, sorry for the.....month long   
  
absence!?! What have I been doing!? Arrgghh....anyways, here's chapter 3!   
  
CHAPTER 3  
  
"What the hell?!" Kanna yelled as she and Mari ran to the bathroom door, only  
  
to find it locked. "Machi!! What are you doing!?!" the bluenette said, pounding on the door.  
  
No reply. "Mari's scared...." the dollmaster whimpered, staring at the door. Kanna backed  
  
away from the door. "Look out Mari..." she said, kicking the door as hard as she could.   
  
The force was enough, breaking the frame and swinging the door open.   
  
The two shamans entered the bathroom. The  
  
floor was littered with broken glass and blood. Machi was huddled in the corner, crying. She  
  
had aparently punched and shattered the mirror, as her right hand was covered in gashes   
  
and bleeding profusely. Kanna ran over to Machi and stood her up. Her first instinct was to  
  
slap the younger girl, but she appeared to be in worse enough condition already. Instead,  
  
the older shaman shook the red head. "What the hell is wrong with you?!" she yelled.   
  
Machi simply stared blankly at the floor. "Oh for the love of....Mari! I want you to clean this  
  
up, ok?" she said, pulling Machi out of the washroom, and into the kitchen. Mari nodded   
  
and began cleaning up the mess.  
  
Once in the kitchen, Kanna grabbed Machi's still   
  
bleeding hand and, using a pair of tweezers, began pulling out shards of glass. Machi  
  
started to sob again, causing Kanna to stop what she was doing."What are you crying   
  
about? YOU punched the mirror..." The younger looked up, tears streaming down her  
  
face. "K-kanna....I-I keep remembering things...." "What? What kind of things?" Kanna  
  
replied. "M-my past! Those awful memories....I thought I'd left that all behind me...."   
  
Kanna continued cleaning the wounds, a look of pity on her face. She often remembered   
  
those bad times as well. "We've all been through rough times like that, Machi. That still  
  
doesn't explain why you smashed the mirror. I mean, it's not like you were gonna to kill  
  
yourself....." Machi stared shamefully at the floor. Kanna stared at her in disbelief, which  
  
quickly turned to a glare. "Well, i though you were a hell of alot stronger than that!" With  
  
that, Kanna grabbed Machi's non-bandaged hand, dragging her to her room. "Stay here."  
  
the bluenette said, slamming the door behind her. Machi was left alone once again. She  
  
began to cry again, sitting on her bed.  
  
A couple hours passed, and Kanna was sitting with  
  
Mari on the couch. "What are we gonna do with her? she asked the younger girl. "Mari  
  
thinks you should talk to Machi." the blond replied, fiddling with Chuck's hair. "Crap..."   
  
Kanna said with a sigh, getting up and heading down the hall to Machi's room. "Machi?"  
  
the blue haired shaman asked as she slowly opened the bedroom door. The girl was still  
  
sitting on her bed, her eyes red from crying. "Look, Machi, about what I said before...."  
  
"No! You were right.....I AM weak. I'm pathetic and worthless...." "Stop talking like that!"   
  
Kanna shouted. "None of that's true! You're a great, fun person!" "No I'm not!!" the red head   
  
shouted back, tears once again welling up in her eyes. Before she could cry again, Kanna  
  
had embraced the younger girl in a hug. She held her tight, and planted a light kiss on her  
  
forehead. "Next time you decide to say something like that again, remember this, alright?"  
  
Machi just nodded, more confused now than before. Kanna let go and stood up. "W-well   
  
I'd better.....go and get something r-ready for dinner...." she said, getting up and leaving the   
  
room. Machi was left to wonder what on earth had just happened....  
  
A/N: Hey Keiko, was THAT "mushy" enough for you? Ha, I bet no one saw that coming....  
  
Kanna&Machi: You are SOOO dead!!!  
  
Mari: Mari needs more lines....  
  
Saikoro: Don't YOU start!! 


	4. Finale

Chapter 4 by Saikoro  
  
The next day was a nice one, the sun shining brightly. The rays of   
  
sunlight danced upon the face of Matilda Mattisse, who was laying on her bed.  
  
Her clock read 9:26AM. She had not gotten much sleep, due to the events  
  
that had unfolded yesterday. Still wearing what she had on the day before,   
  
Machi got up and left her room.  
  
As she entered the living room, she noticed  
  
Kanna sitting on the couch, sipping coffee. "Morning....where's Mari?" the red  
  
head asked. "Morning Machi....she's getting dressed. She has a date with  
  
"Niiiiichrome." Kanna replied, saying the shaman's name in a cute, yet sarcastic  
  
tone. Machi shook her head. "Well, I think it's cute..." "You would." the bluenette  
  
retorted. There was a long silence before Kanna spoke up. "Look, about   
  
yesterday...." She was inturupted by a knock at the door. "Err...I'll get it...."  
  
Machi said, walking over to the door.   
  
She opened it to find Nichrome standing  
  
in the hall, wearing his usual Patch attire. He had a bouqet of lilacs in his hand.  
  
"Hiya Machi. Is Mari-chan ready yet?" Before Machi could reply, a loud noise  
  
came from somewhere in the apartment. "NICHROME-KUN!!" Mari sqealed,  
  
dashing to the door and embracing Nichrome with enough force to put the   
  
Spirit of Fire to shame. Both of them are knocked out of the apartment and  
  
into the hall. Nichrome lays flat on his back, Mari kneeling on his stomach.  
  
"Hello beautiful...." the young man says before Mari presses her lips to   
  
his in a passionate kiss. Machi just stares down at the two. "Err...have fun  
  
you two..." she says, shutting the door.  
  
Matilda returns to the living room  
  
with a sigh. "I'll admit, that was kinda cute..." Kanna said. "Anyway, as I  
  
was saying....about yesterday...I...I shouldn't have acted like that.." "No  
  
Kanna....it made me feel better..." the red head replied. "...Thanks." Kanna  
  
was taken aback by this. "It...it did? Well....err....your welcome....so then..  
  
do you like me too?" she asked. Machi sat down on the couch next to her.  
  
"Yeah, I like you too..." she said with a smile. She moved her face closer  
  
to Kanna's and put their lips together in a kiss, both as happy as ever.....  
  
....And so, two friends became more that friend, and Mari and Nicrome's  
  
date didn't go any farther than the hall......  
  
A/N: Yeah, so this turned into I think the first MachiXKanna fic ever....lol. I   
  
also threw in MariXNichrome, 'cause it's my favorite couple...SUPPORT MARIxNICHROME-ISM!!  
  
Please review....it makes me feel loved.... 


End file.
